


Too Much Love Will Kill You

by babynative



Category: Bohemian Rhapsody (Movie 2018) Actor RPF, Queen (Band)
Genre: Anxiety, Freddie Mercury - Freeform, Jim Hutton - Freeform, Lonliness, M/M, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Queen - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-10
Updated: 2019-03-10
Packaged: 2019-11-14 23:32:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 476
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18062318
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/babynative/pseuds/babynative
Summary: Surrounded in a room of people and yet he had never felt so lonely.





	Too Much Love Will Kill You

It was all too true. Loneliness swept you under its ever compressing arms and kept you there until you drowned in it. It didn't matter how many people you were surrounded by, you always felt it. You felt it when you woke up, you felt it when you went to bed at night and you felt it till you couldn't feel anything anymore. People didn't know how truly dangerous it was to be lonely. To Freddie, he didn't understand the feeling. How could he be lonely when he had the most amazing friends and a wonderful Husband? How could he feel so lonely when people from all over the world would kill just to be him? How could he feel so lonely, he had everything anyone could ever want! The reasons could make a building crumble as it was pilling up.

He felt like he was truly "the great pretender". He was everything people expected him to be and at the same time..he was not. He was vunerable in ways only his close family members knew, he was sensitive and a lot of things made him sad. It was sometimes annoying when people only saw him for being flamboyant, extravagant and always happy. He guessed when people met him it was always a shock. He was rather reserved, shy and kept to himself. He would rather have a cat than a child, a room all to himself rather than the company of people (it felt like they squeezed the air from his lungs, made him feel trapped). He pondered if this was the reason for his lonliness. His ability to push them away when all he wanted was the contact. He wanted to connect with someone platonically as he did with Jim but less, more like friendship.

He wondered if this was how he was going to spend the rest of his days. If he was just going to end up feeling like he was the only one in the room. Maybe his reasons were that he couldn't trust ever since Paul Prenter slipped him something and he couldn't see, sending him into an anxiety attack. Jim was the only one who could calm him down.

He was scared of close bonds. How the hell did he manage with Jim? It was a thought he thought of on the daily.

//

He woke up to the sun streaming through his window. A rather welcome surprise due to all the rain England seemed to gather and pour over the population in large buckets and quantities. He moved further down into his cosy blankets, pressed snugly against Jim. He didn't care when he died or how long he lived, Jim was the only person who tethered him to reality. Reminded him that he wasn't that lonely.

Reminded him there was space in his heart for someone to love.


End file.
